Help for those in overwhelm...

Help for those in overwhelm...

Help for those in overwhelm...

my brain and
heart divorced


a decade ago


over who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become


they couldn't be
in the same room
with each other


now my head and heart
share custody of me


I stay with my brain
during the week


and my heart
gets me on weekends


they never speak to one another
    - instead, they give me
    - the same note to pass
    - to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:


"This is all your fault"


on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past


and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future


they blame each
other for the
state of my life


there's been a lot
of yelling - and crying




    lately, I've been
    spending a lot of
    time with my gut
who serves as my
unofficial therapist


most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my rib-cage


and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut's plush leather chair
that's always open for me


~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up


last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head


I nodded


I said I didn't know
if I could live with
either of them anymore


"my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,"
I lamented


my gut squeezed my hand


"I just can't live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,"
I sighed


my gut smiled and said:


"in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,"


I was confused
  - the look on my face gave it away
"if you are exhausted about
your heart's obsession with
the fixed past and your mind's focus
on the uncertain future


your lungs are the perfect place for you


there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either


there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment


there is only breath


and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out."


this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves


and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs


I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs


before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said


"what took you so long?"