I sit in my mother’s hospice and hold her hand. There is one certainty in life and that is that none of us can escape death. Dying closes the loop on the circle of life.

My mom is a breath of what she was. Cancer has taken her first slowly, then so fast. I’ve never had a parent die. I don’t know what the manual says. I’m so grateful I have a sister to share the conversations of what next, how do you feel, what else can be done, where are we now. We are both fumbling along together using our intuition and short simple chats with mom to make decisions.

Nothing else can be done. My sister has been googling what happens when you die. I don’t google. My sister tells me all she finds. We see all these signs and more. Death can’t be far and our beautiful mother has done just about all that she had wanted to do before this point. We’re a family of list tickers so she worked through her tasks - organising her finances, speaking with her experts, finalising her taxes, emailing friends, having conversations, short and real, Zooming with her old colleagues and book club, having siblings and family physically come to say goodbye, leaving things in order. I was raised in order and am so grateful she is still of sound mind and knows where she is and what’s happening. It seems either your mind or your body gives up on you.

My mother, the one who walked twice a day since forever, has been a pescatarian for decades, always drinks too much water and her greens is one of the healthiest people I know, and her body is failing. She has shown so much grace in death and our many conversations have covered everything from childhood memories (for her and us) to events from the past weekend.

When you know a loved one is close to death what do you do? Well, we thought about little things to help remind her how special she is. When her siblings were in town with my cousin, we had a beautiful Celebration of Life for her, while she was still alive. We each wrote down some things we wanted to say and got them on video. Then we shared them all with my mom. She didn’t want a funeral so how epic to hear what your people think of you while you’re still alive. It was magical.

My mother told us that she knows how much she is loved. This is all anyone can ask for. We’ve been lucky and were given time, even if it’s been sped up towards the end. Not everyone gets to say all those things or just sit in silence with someone who is so pivotal in your own development. Of course, we all think of our own mortality when it’s right in front of you. I’m grateful to say that death can also be beautiful when someone has lived a full life grounded in kindness, love and serving others.

My mother passed away soon after I wrote this and I'm grateful that she is now in peace and flying high above.

Mom, you were and are so loved. If your mother is still alive, and even if she isn’t, tell her how special she is. Mothers make the world go round. Mothers show us love no matter what.